Why is it so hard for me to be happy? Every time I do something that makes me happy, I end up fucking things up with someone. Like I’m holding on to two ropes that carry something heavy. One side has my happiness dangling off a cliff, and the other has my responsibilities to keep others happy. It’s also dangling off cliff. If I let go of one rope to pull up the other, I just fuck things up. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy.
When I need someone, no one’s there. Like WTF man.
Idk why you try so hard to make so much friends. You always complain how people aren’t there for you, yet you do the same thing to your old friends. You just use us when you’ve got no one else to listen to your problems. You complain how people change & look at you, you’re completely different from the person that became my best friend.
A big group of friends, sneaking out of my house, making out, late nights under the stars, crying on my best friend's shoulder, passing notes in class, going on adventures, getting out of my town, campfires, telling secrets, feeling what it's like to fall in love, not caring about how you look, not caring about people's opinions, road trips, parties, driving around, getting lost, endless laughter, happiest years.
Feeling lonely, staying in, waking up early, going to school, worrying about your looks, worrying about your weight, crying over people's crudeness, crying far too often, school, homework, bitches, people trying to ruin things in your life to make you unhappy, being stressed, trapped in the town I hate, feeling nothing remotely close to love, keeping every little emotion bottled up, spending too much time on the internet, waiting for the better years to come to you.